


The Luthor vs The Super

by ManyaZorEL



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, MINOR Dansen, Supercorp angst, You might need a tissue or two, presumed Supercorp death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 17:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21057947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManyaZorEL/pseuds/ManyaZorEL
Summary: What if on the balcony Kara told Lena her last secret, that she's in love with her.And what if, in return, Lena tells Kara HER secret, that she wanted to publish the video that would out Kara as Supergirl.





	The Luthor vs The Super

**Author's Note:**

> Words written in >this font< are meant to be emphasized.

Red leather boots thudded softly onto the balcony as she touched down, making the CEO turn around from her musings as she gazed over the city.  
They gazed at each other, either woman just a little too afraid to speak up, the superhero fidgeting her hands and Kara shining through in the moment making Lena chuckle softly.  
The chuckle awoke Kara from her inner musings and she took a deep breath followed by a step and spoke up "Lena! I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were there tonight and that you're even willing to talk to me at all" her eyes shone in honesty and gratitude.

"Thank you, for telling me the truth" Lena softly replied, touched by the emotion in the other's eyes "but Kara things can't be like they were before, do you understand? There can be no more secrets between us. I have to be in on everything" Kara bit her lip and nodded, shuffling her foot from side to side, a pensive look on her face.  
"There's one more" she spoke softly "one more secret" Lena took a step back with a shuddering breath "Kara I swear to g-" but she got quickly shushed as Kara spoke "no-no please! I- This isn't a bad thing, I promise! I just- I couldn't tell you before- well before this" she said as she touched her emblem.  
Kara took a deep breath as she steeled herself to say what she wanted "Lena I-" she frowned as she forced the words that she was hiding for so long out "I love you" she breathed out and Lena's eyes widened "no, I- I mean I am in love with you. Have been for years. But I was so afraid that if anyone found out how much you mean to me that they would go after you and I- I don't think I'd recognize myself if they did"

Lena blinked a couple times in a row as Kara went on "so I hid it. I hoped it was just a crush at first but it just got more intense the more I got to know you and now there is no more hiding, I promised you truth and honesty and I am giving it all to you right now" she licked her lips as she looked hopeful at the young woman in front of her who was still struggling to comprehend what was going on.  
Fear clouded Kara's eyes for a moment as Lena stood there, not talking, just taking it all in "you're mistaken" she said as she broke eyecontact and shook her head, walking back inside before she saw the hurt in the Kryptonian's eyes.  
"I am not mistaken Lena, I know what I feel and what I feel for you is real" she said as she followed Lena into the home "well you can't love me, Kara" was forced out as she grabbed a glass and filled it with her favorite scotch.

Before she could take a sip from it, the glass was out of her hands and put on the counter and a soft "why can't I love you Lena?" was spoken right beside her "why are you isolating yourself from me?" she asked as she tried to get eyecontact "Lena?"  
Lena was trying to keep her calm, to not tell her exactly what was on her mind but after she softly repeated her name again and her hand was on her shoulder her will broke and she shrugged her hand off and barely kept herself from shouting "because you don't know me Kara! Not really anyway!"  
Confused eyes stared at her "of course I kno-" but she stopped talking when she saw the fiery look from Lena "I was going to out you, Kara. I was going to tell the world who Supergirl really is" she spoke fast but deliberate, venomous hate dripping from her words that stilled Kara's entire being, she wasn't even sure if her heart was still beating.

"I hated you, absolutely and surely hated everything about you and I-" a watery trembling gasp escaped Kara's lips "-wanted you to feel the same hurt I did because of you. I wanted you to feel that same betrayal" she bit her lowerlip as she nodded, forcing herself to keep eyecontact with Kara, no matter how difficult these words were "but then you told me and I realized that it was too extreme and I couldn't do it"  
She tilted her head as she said the next words and breathed heavily "I had told Andrea that I would give her the story of a lifetime, I didn't tell her that it was going to be Supergirl's true identity" Kara looked away as she forcibly kept her mouth shut, her jawmuscles working underneath her skin, trying to hold the pieces of her heart together before something that Lena said clicked.  
Kara audibly swallowed and pain laced her words as she spoke "I told you today but you already were going to o-out me today" her words were stilted as she kept her breathing under control "did you figure it out yourself or did someone else tell you?" her lips quivered as she spoke.

"Lex told me, before he died. Well, actually he showed me. He had a video of us when Mercy had snuck into L Corp. You catching bullets with your bare hands, blowing soldiers away and worst of all. Us in Kaznia, you destroying photo's of us with your heatvision" Kara gulped as she remembered both those moments "I would've been okay if you were the one to tell me. It would hurt, yes, but at least I wouldn't be picking up the pieces that my heart shattered into when Lex told me"  
Kara took a deep breath, trying to file away the information given when Lena walked towards a tablet, tapped it a few times and slid towards Kara over the countertop, the video playing.  
A tear fell over Kara's cheek as she glanced over to Lena when the small video ended "you w- you we're going to s-send this to Andrea?" she stammered over her words "you were serious about telling the word I'm Kara Danvers?" hurt and betrayal etched every word as she looked at the sorrow in Lena's eyes.

"You were going to put everyone I love in danger" this time she wasn't asking "you-" she stopped speaking and tried to calm herself by taking a couple deep breaths but failing to do so.  
"I understand that you were upset and felt betrayed, I understand that Lena" she started softly "but this- this is my life!" she raised her voice throughout the sentence "if you had done this-" she said as she accidentally cracked the tablet in two "-you could've killed Kelly. You could've killed James" a loud gasp left her lips as tears rolled over her cheeks as she shouted "you could've killed Alex!"  
She was breathing deep at this point "I trusted you with >everything<, my heart, my entire being! You think it's easy to tell people who I am? You think it's easy to loose people simply because you're not from this planet!?" her voice cracked "I've always had to think multiple steps ahead before telling someone, be prepared for the worst case scenario, be prepared for them doing a full one eighty on me when they find out I'm an alien, but this- Lena- you are something else" she ended with a humorless chuckle.

"I told you how terrified I was about losing you-" she paused for a moment before saying "-but I guess I lost you long ago. I honestly thought I knew all of you, I thought I knew there was nothing Luthor about you" she shook her head and looked down at the floor "I guess I was wrong" she looked up and dropped the broken tablet to the floor before walking away and towards the balcony.  
"Do you remember, after Jack died? You came over to my office and told me you'd be there for me and I said that when I was going to feel things again I was going to be very afraid of who I might be?" she stopped right in front of the balcony door and tilted her head towards her in acknowledgement, still having her back to her.  
"I was numb for the longest of time when Lex told me, then I started feeling. Anger, resentment, hate, love, acceptance and back to anger and hate and I just wanted you to hurt and I let the Luthor in me control my actions and I know it isn't an apology but this is, Kara I am sorry! Nothing I say will make this better, nothing I >do< will make this better. I'm sorry" tears ran over both their cheeks, Kara's nostrils flared and she scoffed a "I don't care" and she flew off into the night sky.

Lena could swear she heard Kara sob before she flew off and she only barely managed to keep herself upright holding the countertop for support.  
Tears ran freely and her throat constricted in the intensity of the pain, in all the mess of the evening she didn't even tell her the most important part, the reason why she hated herself so much in this moment and would forever.  
She was just as in love with Kara as Kara was with her.

=+=+

Alex arrived at Kara's apartment after getting a cryptic text message that simply read 'need you. asap' no emoji's and no capitals, which was the most un-Kara thing ever and she was scared about what was going on.  
Not even waiting to knock at the door Alex used her own key and walked in the apartment, not being prepared to seeing Kara still in her suit, curled up in a ball on the couch with teartracks across her cheeks and eyes red and puffy.  
"What's wrong?" she asked as she practically ran towards her sister and pulled her against herself as soon as she sat on the couch "talk to me Kar" she whispered as Kara broke once again and clung onto her big sister as she was whispering soft soothing words.

When she finally calmed down enough to speak, her voice was hoarse from crying and screaming at the top of her lungs as she was flying high above National City, she croaked out the words trying not to break once more when she said them "I need you to ha-hack Lena's computers, all- all of them" she swallowed thickly and at the confused hum she whispered "she can't be trusted"  
Tears broke through once more as she said those words out loud and Alex was trying to soothe her little sister while trying to make sense of what she was saying "what do you mean she can't be trusted? I thought she took your reveal well?" another sob broke free from the blonde in her arms.  
"She already knew" Kara stood up in a blur and threw a book that Lena was reading when she was over the last time, through the window and Alex quickly stood up in a slight panic "Kara!" she uttered in shock.

"She-" another book went flying "-fucking-" Lena's favorite mug followed suit "-KNEW-" she shouted the word as she set of her heatvision before collapsing on the floor with a broken sob as her hand flew to her mouth and finished her sentence "-and I was wrong. Ab-about everything" she looked up at her big sister who had ran over and sat on her knees in front of her "you were right not to trust her at the start, I was an idiot. A fucking fool!" she shouted "she truly is-" her nostrils flared and her lip curled as her eyes glowed in a purple hue "-just another Luthor"  
Alex flung herself at Kara, wrapping her arms tightly around her and brokenly whispered "what the hell happened Kara? I've never seen you like this. What did she do?" her tears joined Kara's as her heart was breaking for her.  
"She has a video-" she told in a emotionless voice and as she sat back on the floor Alex held in a gasp as she saw her eyes just as emotionless as her voice "-of various moments of me using my powers, as Kara. Not as Supergirl. But >me<" her jaw muscles moved as she forced herself to keep talking "and she was going to give it to Andrea. To out my identity. To make me feel as betrayed and hurt as she did when she found out the truth. She was going to put all of your lives in danger to get back at me." her voice slowly rose in intensity "She was willing to do the one thing I try so hard to protect you all from"

Alex sat motionless, shock covering her features as she tried to find the words to the information "so I need you to hack everything she has, find that video and delete it" her jaw trembled from keeping her emotions out of her voice.  
"I don't care what else you do. Take her into the D.E.O., have her meet Director Danvers instead of Sister Danvers, I don't care" she scoffed as she thought of another thing "maybe have J'onn see her, erase me from her memoeries, all of me. Then he can come here and do the same to me" her resolve broke and more tears streamed down as she broke more "Alex i-it hurts. S-so much" she gasped out and Alex once again wrapped her arms around Kara and tried to console her the best she could despite her own grief.  
This was much, much worse than she had initially feared 'this-' she thought '-could very well be the first time a Luthor succeeds in breaking a Super' she sighed and sqeeuzed Kara in her arms as hard she could, hoping that it would somehow help her heal.

=+=+

"What the everloving fuck did you think you were doing Lena!?" Alex shouted as she stormed into the L Corp office "are you really that fucking thickheaded!? Or were we all wrong about you and you really are just another Luthor to add to the list of madmen!?" Lena barely even looked up from her laptop and sighed "hello to you to Alex"  
"Oh we are past pleasantries, Lena what the >fuckhell< were you thinking? Did you even think about all the lifes you would put at risk by outing Kara? Not just ours, but all the innocent people in this world that Kara daily saves!? Did you stop to think about that?"  
Lena turned around quickly, the scotch in her glass swirling dangerously close to the edge as she slammed it on the table "Of course I thought about that! You don't see her face on the six o'clock news, do you? I know what the risks are, its why I didn't do it, why I >couldn't< do it!" she shouted as loud at her as Alex was shouting at her.

"You fucking broke her Lena! She came to you to pour her heart out and tell her she's in love with you and you- what?- Thought it would be fun to toy with her? Tell her that she can't even trust the person she's mad about? To end her!? Honestly Lena you might as well have made a kryptonite bullet and shot her with it, I am one hundred percent sure >that< would have hurt her less than this" she snarled as a tear rolled down her cheek as she thought of Kara's lifeless and emotionless eyes looking back at hers.  
Lena swallowed thickly at seeing the emotions in Alex' eyes, especially knowing she rarely let anyone see them "I told her I changed my mind and that I would take it back if I could. But Alex- she deserved to know. Especially when she wears her heart on the outside. She can't love me, Alex. She can't! Loving me-" she took a watery breath "loving me only brings death. It's best if she just forgets about me, Alex. Please help her forget" the underlying message wasn't lost on her and she scoffed.  
"Funny, Kara told me to have J'onn meet you as well so you would forget she ever existed" that sentence cut through Lena like a knife through her heart and she couldn't fight back the tears anymore "she asked to make you forget her and to have J'onn visit her and do the same to her. Does that sound like my sister to you Lena!?" Alex spoke low, threatingly and waited till she saw Lena shake her head in the negative "not exactly, so congratulations Lena. Despite all the good you've done, all the times you've proved you're not a Luthor, you now proved you are" Alex nodded slowly as she slowly saw Lena break in front of her "I loved you like you were my own little sister, did you know?" she said softly before walking out of her office and leaving a heartbroken Lena behind

=+=+

From that confrontation on it had been a downwards spiral for Lena, she let her selfhate out in form of drinking, never at work though, always at home where she drank till she passed out on the couch, the bed, the floor, anything that could hold her bodyweight.  
No one had seen Supergirl for weeks and speculations were running wild about where she was, she had a dozen of angry voicemail messages from Andrea but she couldn't be bothered to listen to them.  
"Congratulations Lena, you really are a fucking Luthor" she slurred as she took another swig of her drink as she half laid and half sat on the couch, one arm and leg drunkingly dangling over the back of the couch "hoo-fucking-ray" she cheered the alcohol to no one in particular and took another swig.

Her phone went off again and as usual she ignored it, letting it ring to voicemail, it's not like she could actually talk now and make sense anyway, so why bother even trying.  
"Oh shhhhhhhhhhhhut uuuuuuup" she groaned as her phone went off again and she picked up the phone, speaking to it like it could understand "I need you to shut up. Phone, I am unavaillable. Shut up. Off. Silent. Mute. Do not disturb" she listed off and when she got too annoyed at the apparant display of disrespect she threw it against the wall.  
Right as it collided she jumped up and angrily shouted "Shit!" realizing she may had just broken her phone, her last connection to Kara, as she was unable to delete all the photo's they had taken together in the years they knew each other.

Lena gingerly picked up the broken phone and cried and whispered out a "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please for-forgive me, I'm so sorry" she repeated that mantra as she held the phone close to her chest "Kara I'm so sorry" she choked out.  
She slid to the ground as her sobs broke her body, not listening to the heavy bootfalls outside her door, not bothered by what would most likely be the last attempt on her life and they would be succesfull.  
The door got kicked in and she warily looked up as multiple masked and heavily armed men walked into her house and two walked up to her and both set down a device but said nothing, Lena just looked on in drunken confusion, her eyes still blurry from the tears.

A figure came to life in the livingroom, a hologram projected from the devices on the floor, arms crossed, suit tailored and ironed "hello sister" the man said and Lena whimpered.  
"H-how?" she stood up on wobbly legs trying to put herself together "y-you're dead!" Lex chuckled loudly, amusement spilling out in his eyes "I was supposed to be! But I suppose fate had a different plan!" he wrung has hands together gleefully "now, my dearest little sister. Don't tell me you're actually crying over a broken phone?" his tone a mix between humor and disdain "we're rich! We can buy another phone, Lena!"  
Lena's face contorted "I don't want another phone, I want this one. It's important" she said slowly, trying to sober herself up enough to have a chance that she might just survive "Oh I see" Lex said "it's your last connection to Kara Danvers" he said her name with the greatest disdain he could muster "I guess she didn't take it too well when she found out you wanted to out her identity" he smiled innocently.

"No she- she w- wait, how do you know about that? The only other living person who knows is Kara and she-" she stopped talking as her eyes went wide and she looked towards the small cilinderlike object on her table "Hope" they said at the same time.  
A robotic voice rang out "I am sorry Lena, but you instructed me to help you the best way I can. Mister Luthor is most capable of that now that Miss Danvers has left" Lena snarled at her own mistake in the technology which made Lex laugh in turn "technology, such a great invention isn't it Lena?"  
"Whatever it is I'm not interested Lex, I want no part in whatever it is you want to do" once again Lex laughed and spread his arms "why my dearest sister I don't want you to do anything! You already have!" at the moment he spoke those words an alarm went off inside her apartment and he counted down from three on his fingers.

As his fingers all turned down a thud was heard from the balcony and Lena's heart sank into her feet as she realized Lex was playing her to make her look like the ultimate Luthor that she was trying not to be, her eyes shone in heartbreak when a voice rang out from outside "Lena!"  
Kara came running in, scared that something would have happened to the woman she loves but she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was in front of Lena and her eyes went wide and went from one Luthor to the other "h-how? I killed you" Lex once again laughed gleefully as he tilted his head "oh no Kara, >you< didn't. She however-" he nodded to Lena "-did. But it wasn't permament" and smirked as he added "obviously!" as a humoristic afterthought.  
She looked at Lena with question in her eyes, but the youngest Luthor dropped her gaze and stared at the floor, the broken phone still clutched in her hands "what's going on here?" Kara demanded, trying her best to keep the wobble out of her voice.

"Well I just wanted to welcome my little sister into the family now that she finally accepted who she really is" a sickening wide smile crossed his face "a true Luthor!" he excitedly clapped his hands "she told me all about that video she wanted to put public. I told her it was an extreme response, even for our family line, but she was >adament<" Lena's head shot up when he spoke and looked furious "you hacked my a.i, you sick son of a bitch, I didn't tell you anything" her words fuming and she took a threatening step forwards, much to the enjoyment of her older brother.  
The blonde was stuck on which sibling to look at as she listened to them argue about what was and wasn't true when Lena turned to her "Kara, please. You can't believe him. Wanting to send that video was the worst thing my mind has ever come up with. I still can't believe I even thought about doing that. I know what being Supergirl means to you and I know how everyone you love would be in danger. Please, I never spoke to anyone about this except for you. Please Kara!"  
Lena was practically begging her best friend to believe in her once more, just this once, but a heartbroken sob left her body when she saw Kara slowly shake her head, holding back tears "I don't know what to believe right now Lena" her voice was steady, small, but steady as she spoke the words "I don't know what you're capable of. I always thought I knew but-" she took a deep breath "I do know Lena would never talk about any of her plans that openly to anyone, not even her companion and not even-" a deep stuttering breath was taken "not even me"

She ended the sentence by using her freeze breathe on the armed men and the ones she couldn't hit with the blast she superspeeded to and knocked them out, within two seconds they were all down for the count.  
Turning her back to Lena so she could look at Lex, he clapped slowly "brava Supergirl! Bra-va!" he clapped enthusiastically "even with all the evidence stacking against my sister you still choose to be stupid and ignorant and a naive little girl when it comes to my sister and that-" something started beeping "-will be the reason you both die tonight" his projection disappeared and as one device showed a countdown the other opened up to a big chunk of kryptonite, rendering Supergirl powerless to protect Lena from the inbound explosion.  
Her eyes widened in fear and ran the few steps to Lena and wrapped her cape around them as securely as she could in the last few seconds that they had left "I'm sorry Kara" Lena whispered quickly before the world went into darkness for both of them.

=+=+

Siren's were everywhere, the street in chaos, rubble from top three floors of Lena's building spread across the street, D.E.O. frantically digging through what was left of the buildings top floors as fast and safely as they could.  
Panic coursed through evey fibre in Alex' being but she had to look composed as the director, trying her hardest to not snap at every person coming to her for instructions, Kelly stood not too far away from her.  
"They're alright" she talked loud enough for only Alex to hear but when she didn't get a response she said "Kara will be alright, Alex, they both will" Alex swirled around at Kelly naming Kara's name instead of Supergirl and Kelly responded to Alex' shocked look with a eyebrow raise and simply said "I'm a therapist, I read people" and Alex chuckled softly before turning back to the destroyed building with her shoulders tight.

"Director Danvers!!" was yelled as a agent ran out of the destroyed building and Alex ran towards him "ma'am, we found this. So far this is the only evidence that Supergirl was even here. We might have to consider the option that she was too clo-" but he abruptly shut his mouth and nodded "we will continue looking" and didn't wait for acknowledgement before rushing back in before giving the remains of Kara's cape to her.  
Kelly laid her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder as she was trying her best to remain stoic and able to lead the search for her sister and her, is it former?, best friend.  
Another loud shout was heard from the building and Alex ran inside, dread filling her being at the panic lacing through the voices and she ran faster and faster untill she came to a sudden and full stop at the sight in front of her, she let out a choked sob before walking towards the scene.

=+=+

Beep.  
"Where am I?"  
Beep.  
"Why can't I see anything?"  
Beep.  
"Lena! Where is Lena?"  
Beep.  
"Why aren't you answering me?"  
Beep.  
"Lena!"  
Beep.  
"STOP BEEPING AT ME AND TELL ME WHERE SHE IS"   
Beep.  
"Pl-please"

=+=+

"Kara?" Alex' soft voice rang out in the room "they say that people in a coma can hear the conversation in the room" she took a deep breath as the beeping of the heartmonitor continued "you should've gotten the hell out of there, away from the explosion. I understand though, I understand what Lena means to you" a tear travelled down her cheek "but I just lost my sister, again! And there's no-nothing I could do about that!" a sob broke free from her chest "please Kara, we got you back, the rest is up to you!"  
The room was silent safe for the beeping of the machine's helping to keep Kara alive, she sighed and stood up "I will be back soon, I promise" she whispered as she kissed her forehead gently.  
Walking out Kara's room she took a deep breath before walking into the one adjorning Kara's and watched Lena sleep in the same comatose state as her sister and she shook her head as she let a few tears fall from her eyes and sat in the chair besides Lena and held her hand.

=+=+

It was dark and stuffy and scarily cold "Kara?" was whispered out into the darkness "Kara? Where are you?" she focussed her hearing on any sound in her vicinity and gasped when she heard a faint "Lena!" before the world flashed bright and sound crashed over her, but she was still cold.  
"Lena! It's okay!" Lena shook her head as all she heard was beeping on intervals, her ears were ringing from the sudden noise and her eyes were burning from the intensity of the light surrounding her "Lena, breathe. You're alright"  
She opened her eyes slowly and looked straight into worried blue eyes "Kara" she sighed as she flung her arms around her neck and sobbed with her face in the crook of her neck "you're alright" Kara whispered.

"Where are we?" Lena asked softly before looking around "are we at the D.E.O.?" her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion when Kara remained silent with a pensive look on her face "I- I'm not sure" she admitted "it looks like the D.E.O. but I don't see anyone else here and when I woke up all I heard were beeping, I have no idea what from but then I heard you call out and I came running and you are the first person I saw"  
Lena's eyebrows scrunched further "how the hell did we end up here when we were almost blown to bits at my apar- wait. Is this- I-I mean- are we-" she didn't dare finish her sentence but Kara shook her head "no, I've been dead before and this doesn't feel like it"  
That sentence hit Lena in her entire being "what do you mean you've been dead before?" she asked slowly and apprehensive and Kara just sighed and shook her head "not now Lena" but Lena scoffed "what? You have somewhere to be, cause it looks to me we're stuck here until we wake up and judging by how close were to that blast we won't be waking up for a while"

Kara groaned loudly "unfortunately I think you're right, this feels familiar though. Like the mindscape I was stuck in after fighting Reign" she looked around with a slight bewilderment to her eyes "but I don't understand why we're stuck in a place where, correct me if I'm wrong, neither of us feels like home" and Lena shook her head in response "not exactly, no"  
"Will you please tell me what you meant by 'dead before'?" shaking her head, Kara groaned "why? So you can tell the world that Supergirl died before as well?" she said without looking at Lena thus not seeing the hurt and selfhatred in her eyes and continued "I fought Red Daughter and lost, you can quote me on that. Either Kara or Supergirl, you decide" she swallowed when she heard a pained intake of breath.  
They shared an awkward silence before Lena spoke up "maybe we're stuck here because this is neutral ground. A place where neither of us feels their strongest or safest, thus less afraid of saying whats on our minds and more willing to be vulnerable" she ended with a helpless shrug and a tilt of her head "so, let's do that. Let's talk" she started hopeful but cowared just a little bit when she saw the fury in Kara's eyes.

It was only then that she realized that Kara was in her regular clothes but wearing her hair down and no glasses adorned her face, it was in that moment she saw just how blinded by denial she had been all this time ">now< you want to talk!? You could've asked for that before deciding that you wanted to use that video for something like that"  
Lena sighed deeply again, tears threatening to break through her walls "I was angry-" a scoff was the response but she ignored it and kept going "-and I wasn't thinking rational. I let my Luthor pride take control and I h-hate myself for that. I was a mess, I didn't even realize that I had let my hatred for my own blindness flood over and turn my love for you into hate and I can't make that up, no matter what I do, I understand that Kara. I don't hate you for hating me. I threatened your world, I understand how angr-" but she swallowed the rest of her sentence when Kara yelled out as she turned around "do you!? Do you really understand, Lena!? Do you really understand how you came this close to taking another world away from me!?"  
Tears flowed freely on both women's cheeks "I lost my entire family, my entire heritage in a literal flash. I thought we were okay, I was actually happy that you knew, I was ecstatic, light. I felt like I could take on the world and >win<" her body tremored as she spoke about the pain openly to the person who caused it "but then, you literally walk away from me and show me just how little I mean to you, how willing you were to let me live through another lost world. How ready you were to give up all that we were, all that we could have been" Lena's breath hiccuped as a sob wrecked her frame.

The emotions were wobbling Kara's voice as she tried to control it the best way she could and Lena gave up on fighting back the tears "I told you that I'm in love with you and you practically tell me how much you hate me! If you had published that video I would be dead! Or worse! You were willing to kill me, Lena. You might as well had taken a gun loaded with kryptonite and shot me 'cause I swear to Rao that shit would've hurt less!" she couldn't stop the emotions coming out this time as loud sobs wrecked through her body making the Girl Of Steel shiver and tremor in their wake.  
"Kara I-" but she didn't know quite how to finish that sentence, shaking her head she took a deep breath and tried to keep her voice in its regular octave as she fought the devastating sadness punching hole after hole in the walls she had tried so hard to keep up  
"I don't know where to start, I truly don't. Except with I'm sorry but I know that means nothing right now. I realize that nothing I say can make you forgive me and honestly I don't deserve your forgiveness. I was out of line with that video, I agree. I wasn't thinking rational, I wasn't thinking clear. I was- I was a Luthor through and through and trust me, you can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself. I never wanted this, I never wanted to be a part of that family, not like that. I >hate< that I let myself become a part of them like that" she took a deep breath, her body shivering slightly "I know it's too little too late but Kara-" she tilted her head to try and catch Kara's eyes and only continued speaking when she managed to get eyecontact "I love you too, so much that it terrifies me"

Kara's shoulders dropped and her head hung "then why? Why would you destroy me like that? You must've known, even in that state" Lena looked to the floor in shame "I did know. I think, I let my need for revenge take over and I just wanted you to feel as hurt and betrayed like I did. But it- I-I mean-" she breathed deeply trying to gather her thoughts "I was falling in love with you, no scratch that, I fell in love with you and then I find out through my murderous son of a bitch brother that I was in love with a lie. Someone I apperantly didn't even know, not really anyway. I let my heartbreak and my hatred, for myself not you, control everything I did" she looked up and smiled a halfsmile.  
"I had this way of coping with emotions-" she pursed her lips and nodded slowly "-put them in boxes and shove them deep down until you can't feel them anymore and then you can keep going" she chuckled humorlessly as she picked at a thread on her sweater "I hid every emotion except my love for you, I could never tuck it far enough away, the lid would never close properly and this light just kept shining out of it. It was so much brighter than anything I had ever seen and no matter how big of a box I tried to contain it in, it never. Fully. Closed" she bit her lip for a moment as she let all of her walls down in that moment and she saw that Kara was listening intently, the same pain on her face as she was feeling in the moment "I think by keeping that box open, intentionally and having it forcibly shut it opened up the boxes that I never ever wanted to open in my entire life"  
Tear's tracked down Kara's cheeks as her jawmuscle worked underneath her skin and her lips twitched as if she wanted to say something but forced herself not to as she waited for Lena to finish talking, trying to explain what mindset she was in when she almost made the worst call of her life "when you came out to me at the ceremony, you re-opened that lid and in doing so put the lid back on the dark ones. Your light has always been the way to lock those boxes. I let their darkness rule over me instead of trying to put a lid back on by myself" her lowerlip trembled and her hand shot to cover her mouth as a loud sob broke free from her and she slowly broke in front of her best friend.

Looking up at the ceiling, Kara closed her eyes tightly while shaking her head before taking the couple steps towards Lena and pulling her up to her feet and into her arms "that's a very bad way of coping with your emotions, Lena. Kelly would be repulsed by it" making Lena laugh incredulously at the bad attempt on humor and she wrapped her arms around the taller woman and clung on for dear life "I'm so sorry Kara. I'm so, so sorry. I-I love you. I'm sorry" she kept whispering into the crook of her neck.  
"We'll be okay Lena. We're going to be okay" she said through heavy breaths as she felt her heart slowly heal and held on tighter to Lena, upon realizing her powers weren't working in this place.  
"Lena?" she whispered as she gently pushed Lena away "we need to find a way to wake up and get the hell out of here. As much I love spending time with you, we can't stay in here. We need to wake up" Lena nodded and straightened her shoulders "okay, what do we do. Supergirl?" and for the first time in ages they shared a true smile and nodded encouringly at each other.

=+=+

The first thing Kara registered was the warmth, the mindpalace was cold and eerie in a way, despite being there with Lena and it overflowing in light, well, after finding Lena.  
She slowly opened her eyes one at a time and looked around, she was in a D.E.O. room, the sunroom to be exact and as she looked beside her she saw Alex sitting in the chair, her upperbody on the bed holding onto Kara's hand so she squeezed it gently to get Alex' attention, which she got within a minute.  
"Kara!" she whisper shouted "O-Oh my God! You're awake!" she immediately started checking her vitals and she frowned at Kara's impatient and frustrated look.

Upon seeing her big sisters confusion she asked "where is Lena?" Kara waited for a reply and the minutes ticked by she got more impatient and she asked again, with more force this time so Alex nodded her head to wall behind her head and Kara stood up on wobbly legs, leaning on Alex for support before she gained her bearings and stood on her own two feet before strutting out the door followed by a extremely confused Alex.  
She walked straight into Lena's room without any hesitance and walked in one direct line to Lena's bed and held her hand, not even sparing a glance at Kelly who was sitting in the chair next to Lena "come on Lena, wake up. You said you'd be right behind me. You are not leaving me now, do you hear me?" she waited and looked intently at Lena's face, willing herself to not let the tears fall "Lena, come on!" she grunted out in gritted teeth "Lena?" she let out in a soft sob as her forehead rested against Lena's, Alex and Kelly sharing questioning looks at the other.  
Small drops of tears dropped onto Lena's skin as Kara let herself softly cry "I'm here, Kara" was a hoarse whisper that made everyone in the room sigh in clear relieve and Alex and Kelly shared a smile and hugged tightly in celebration "you scared me, Lena" Kara whispered as her face was mere inches away "I'm sorry Kara" was whispered back and Kara nodded, her eyes shining in happiness and delight "I really want to kiss you right now" and Lena smiled as she propped herself up and brought her lips to Kara's and they shared a soft and slow kiss, both smiling happily at each other.

When Kara pulled away she turned around to see her sister and sister in law smiling happily and holding hands, though Alex still hold a air of suspicion towards Lena and the girl in question sighed "I believe you have some questions for me, Agents Danvers" she spoke up when she saw the look Alex was giving her and Alex nodded in agreement "I do, but right now you need to rest. We already know Lex is still alive and we are on a worldwide manhunt for him. So don't worry about that. But when you're rested and healed, that's when we will talk"  
Lena smiled gratefully and whispered a thank you "oh and Lena?" she shrunk into her bed a little when she heard the authorative tone in Alex' voice "It's Alex to you" she ended with a wink and they shared a smile before she turned around and walked out the room, followed closely by Kelly.  
"Oh Kelly!" Kara suddenly called out and both women stopped walking "yes Kara?" she answered with a small expectant raise of her eyebrows at Kara's mischievous glint in her eyes "Lena really needs an appointment with you, something about boxes and feelings and hiding them" Kelly blanched and looked repulsed at the mere idea of putting feelings in boxes and hiding them away and Kara chuckled and turned towards Lena "I told you she'd look repulsed at it" to which Kelly pointed her finger at Lena and spoke determined "as soon as you are better, my office. No disccusion. Understood?" to which Lena gave a playful salute and a "yes ma'am" and all four women chuckled as the two women left Kara and Lena alone in the room.


End file.
